Dearborn — Lisa Godin has four boys, her youngest entering kindergarten this fall at Sacred Heart Catholic School in Dearborn, so she’s well-versed in dealing with the back-to-school jitters. Her advice: Start “school” a couple weeks earlier.
“It’s an awful lot easier to wait until the first day of school and just kick them all out the door, but it’s a lot more stressful for the kids and for you,” Godin said.
Taking the kids shopping for school supplies and starting the back-to-school routine a few weeks before the school year begins can make a big difference, she said. For many children starting school for the first time — or even those adjusting to a new school — the newness of the experience can lead to fears and uneasiness about the unknown, so the more that’s familiar, the better.
“Any child starting kindergarten, when they’re going into a new building with a new classroom and new teachers, it’s going to be a hard day for both the kids and for the parents sending their children off to kindergarten for the first time,” Godin said.
Melissa Lambrecht, principal at Sacred Heart, said the first day of school can cause nervous feelings for many kids, but that it usually subsides after the first week or so.
“It’s the unexpected. It’s the fear that I won’t know anybody,” Lambrecht said. “Kids like to know who their teacher is, who they’re going to be in class with. Change is hard, but kids I have found adapt way more quickly than parents do to change, and they quickly meet new friends.”
Lambrecht said it’s important for parents and the school to take time to familiarize the new students with their surroundings. She suggested taking a preliminary visit to the student’s classrooms, attending open houses and allowing the child to play on the playground before school starts. She also said simple organization, such as setting aside a designated “homework space” or having color-coded folders for different subjects can ease the anxiety level.
At Sacred Heart, the parish picnic the day before school starts helps parents and students meet new friends and become familiar with parish and school staff.
The school also offers “Shamrock Shadow Days” for prospective new families on the first Wednesday of each month. While parents meet with staff and faculty to ask questions, the children are invited to sit in and experience a typical school day at the Dearborn school.
“That also helps with the anxiety, because before they begin school they’ve actually been there,” Lambrecht said. “And depending on their comfort level they can stay for the morning or they can stay for the whole day.”
Prospective students are given a mentor student for the day, “but everybody kind of takes them under their wing and welcomes them to show them what Sacred Heart is all about,” Lambrecht said.
Godin and Lambrecht both agreed the first day of school is more difficult in kindergarten than in older grades — and not just for the students. Parents can have just as difficult a time letting go.
“I think dropping your kids off for the first day of kindergarten is a lot harder for the parents than it is for the 5-year-old,” Godin said. “They’re a lot more resilient than we are. The first day, they’ll be anxious, they’ll hold your hand tightly. There’ll be the hugs and a little bit of anxiety about letting go of your hand and going into the classroom. That’s normal. That’s routine. They’ll be over it a lot faster than you are.”
To help the child overcome jitters, Lambrecht said it’s important for parents to not be seen as over-worrying.
“Kids feed off of that. So as a parent, you can try not to show your emotions as much, because your baby that you’ve raised and has been with you and dependent on you is now going to leave you for an extended period of time,” she said.
At Sacred Heart, the more “veteran” parents host a breakfast on the first day of school for the parents of new students. As much as it is a chance for parents to get to know one another, it’s also an opportunity to share wisdom, Lambrecht said.
“They invite them to the breakfast to kind of say ‘You know what, we’ve all been there. It’s OK to shed a few tears’ — tears of joy as well as ‘Oh my goodness, my child’s taking that next milestone’ — and just helping each other through it. It’s a very normal part of development of both the parent and the child.”
Godin said she appreciates the school’s thoughtful approach to the matter, and having gone through it herself, she knows how helpful other parent’ advice can be.
“Sacred Heart does a fabulous job in making a sense of community both for the parents and for the kids,” she said. “It just makes a whole degree of comfort, and as a parent, you’re happy your kid’s going to school.”
