EnCourage is a ministry within Courage dedicated to spiritually assisting parents, siblings, children, spouses and other relatives and friends of those who experience same-sex attraction.
Bob and Susan Cavera live in the Diocese of Lansing but have held EnCourage meetings for both those in Lansing and the Archdiocese of Detroit since the 1990s.
“We founded the Lansing chapter,” Bob Cavera said. “We first got involved because our son admitted that this is a struggle in his life and he was dealing with that issue. He announced that this is who he is and intended to be. We were left with, ‘what do we do next?’”
The two started to research the situation of same-sex attraction, and Susan Cavera discovered an article about Fr. John Harvey, OSFS, who founded Courage in 1980 before passing away in 2011. She called Fr. Harvey’s office, and was able to speak with him.
“We met Fr. Harvey in Detroit, when he was speaking at the National Shrine of the Little Flower,” said Bob Cavera. Fr. Harvey encouraged them to attend the annual Courage conference.
“We went to our pastor and suggested that we do it,” Susan Cavera said. “He and our bishop at the time, Bishop (now Emeritus) Carl Mengeling, actually sent us to the conference.”
So in 1996 they attended their first Courage conference, “and have gone ever since,” she said.
A woman at the conference encouraged the Caveras to start up an EnCourage chapter in their own diocese. Susan Cavera said they never would have dreamed of doing that, but “it seemed that we were the only ones willing to do it. One of our goals was to reach out to others who might be going through this difficulty like us.”
Though their EnCourage meetings were not heavily attended in the beginning, sometimes without anyone showing up, the Caveras said that today, the numbers have grown.
“It can be a light attendance or as many as filling up the room and not having enough chairs,” said Susan Cavera. “We have to be flexible and see who comes.”
Bob Cavera said that because they are geographically close to the Archdiocese of Detroit in the eastern part of Livingston County, a number of EnCourage members have come from the archdiocese.
The Caveras said that their meetings place special emphasis on loving the person, but not affirming the behavior in which the person has become involved. Though still difficult, they agreed that helping others through this ministry has helped them grow in loving and witnessing to their son.
“Often, they just need to converse, share their heartache, deepen their spiritual prayer life, and deepen their commitment to their son or daughter,” said Bob Cavera.
Learn more about EnCourage
Visit the EnCourage page on Courage International’s website at www.couragerc.net/EnCourage.html, or email [email protected].
