BLOOMFIELD HILLS — A big decision looms in the minds of parents of eighth-grade students: Which high school to send their child?
Many times, the decision is aided by the parents’ own educational background. Choosing to send their children to an all-boys or all-girls Catholic high school was the decision made by the Parks and Schoenherr families, and they have no regrets — and neither do their children.
Katie Parks has two daughters: Maddie, who will be a senior at Marian High School in Bloomfield Hills, and Clare, who will be a freshman.
“I’ll be honest,” Katie Parks admitted. “I was nervous. I am a product of a co-ed Catholic environment. I am a huge proponent of the Catholic school system of education, but really felt that something would be missing in this single-sex setting.”
Those fears were quickly allayed when Parks visited Marian on Field Day. “Field Day was an experience like no other where I saw cooperative teamwork among classmates, good-natured competition between classes and an overall feeling of empowerment, confidence and pure joy,” she said.
“There exists a sisterhood within that building,” she added. “And, while I don’t think it’s something I can put into words, I can now say, unequivocally, it is a guiding force in the development of these remarkable young women.”
It was during her sophomore year when Maddie found her priorities had changed with the unexpected passing of her father, Pat. At first, her emphasis was on friends and schoolwork, but after her father died, “Marian became more than just a school for me then. The way the students and teachers supported me was unbelievable,” she said. “It made all the difference in my life.”
Her mother agrees. “I’m not sure how they accomplished it, but the faculty wouldn’t let Maddie be defined by this incredibly tragic loss,” she said. “They continued to challenge her academically while supporting her spiritually and emotionally.”
A strong support system can also be found at all-boys Catholic high schools, including at De La Salle Collegiate in Warren, where Matt Schoenherr is a 2007 graduate, along with his father, two brothers and uncles. His mother is also a product of Catholic education, a graduate of Bishop Gallagher High School in Harper Woods.
“From my point of view, I saw it as the natural next step to take in life, and one to be proud of,” said Matt, who works as a clinical simulation technician at Children’s National Medical Center in Washington D.C.
There, he learned “how to be a disciple of Jesus’ teachings. Nothing about faith was forced upon, rather tools were given for each individual to grow personally.”
His brother, Joseph Schoenherr, agrees.
“DLS did not make Catholic traditions the be-all and end-all in your faith. They put more of an emphasis on being a good Christian and where our Catholic roots came from.”
Their father, Andy, from the Class of 1980, says their faith largely grew out of their family’s Catholic education, and continues to be a vital element in their lives. “The Catholic education that all five of us were lucky enough to share gives us a common foundation of Christian values,” he said. “That gives our relationships an advantage in that we understand each other’s perspectives in a unique way.”
For many parents, however, sending their child to an all-girls or all-boys school raises concern, especially regarding socialization with the opposite sex.
But Danny Schoenherr, who will be a senior at De La Salle this fall, doesn’t share those concerns anymore.
“I met with girls my freshman year mostly through De La Salle events — football games, dances, etc. The school is wonderful about giving freshmen opportunities to meet girls from all different schools.
“My only advice would be to get involved in anything you can at De La Salle; you will create so many great new friendships with guys you don’t see much in school and with girls, too,” he adds.
His parents are living proof of that, as his mother was one of the girls who “met, dated, and married a DLS boy,” Ann Marie Schoenherr said, adding that she and Andy met when they were dance partners in the De La Salle production of “Damn Yankees” in Andy’s senior year. “There were many, many Bishop Gallagher girls that attended and participated in the functions at De La Salle,” she said.
And Danny said the male-only classes help with academics, too.
“I feel a more personalized approach is taken by the teachers to help guys pay attention and learn. It is surprising, too, how many more guys participate in class than I was used to at my co-ed grade school.”
Thankful that Marian is an all-girls school, Maddie Parks admits that being among boys can be a way to lose the “eye on the prize.”
“To me, the value of an all-girls school is that we don’t have the constant distraction of boys. We are focused on learning, and we are not embarrassed to answer questions, or ask them.
“Learning is the priority, and it’s fun,” she adds. “We share many of the same interests, and we don’t have to spend much time getting ready in the morning. Your girlfriends don’t care if you aren’t wearing makeup.”
Occasionally, she says, there are classes that are shared with neighboring all-boys school Brother Rice. “So there is an opportunity to have boys in your classroom, but mostly you meet boys socially outside of school at parties and going to games — football, hockey, lacrosse,” she said.
Her mother, Katie, chimes in: “Please. They are teenagers. They figure it out.”
