Young Catholics often struggle to ‘settle down’ at one parish, instead choosing to ‘church hop’

DETROIT — For young adults moving into the Detroit area, finding the right fit is step one to living a healthy, productive life.



Settling on the right apartment, finding roommates who won’t drive you crazy, figuring out what grocery store has reasonable prices for the highest quality and where the coolest watering holes are that don’t make you seem like a complete hipster are just some of the many decisions.

But for young adult Catholics in Detroit, there is another “right find” to think about: a parish.

There are 224 parishes in the Archdiocese of Detroit, each with its own unique location, Mass times and demographics. But for young adults with no family ties to a particular parish, “parish wandering” can be the norm.

“I’m the epitome of someone who goes to a different church every week,” said Marie Brooks, a Princeton graduate who lives in Dearborn. “I go to Mass wherever I decide; it usually depends on where I am. I’ve been living in Dearborn from 10 months; I’m originally from New York. I’ve been to around eight parishes.”

Brooks isn’t alone; many young adult Catholics are not officially registered at a parish, opting instead to hop around to different parishes for whatever reason.

Even for young adults who grew up in the Detroit area but are now living on their own, consistently going to the same parish week in and week out is a struggle, given the number of enticing “events” that happen almost every week in the Archdiocese of Detroit — such as Mass Mobs, parish festivals and special Masses that take place week to week.

“If anything else, where I go to Mass is dictated by activities going on,” said Andrea Savickis, who grew up at St. Linus Parish in Dearborn Heights and sings in the archdiocesan choir. “We have certain events we sing for; I know where I’m going to be every Holy Thursday. But where I go (on weekly basis) is dictated by activities going on, Mass Mobs, young adult Masses. But for the rest of the weekends in between, it makes it much harder to find a parish to put down roots.”

With so many notable churches in the Archdiocese of Detroit, the temptation to “pray in them all” like a spiritual Pokedex is tempting, but it does have its drawbacks.

“One of the major problems young adults seem to face in the Church today is a feeling of ‘not being connected’” to a parish, said Fr. James Arwady, pastor of St. Christopher Parish in Marysville, who wrote in his parish’s bulletin about the effects of “parish hopping.”



“One of the reasons for this lack of feeling connected occurs is due to this ‘parish hopping,’” he said. “If people are not registered with a parish and have not planted roots and engaged in parish life in her ministries, commissions, councils, committees, or volunteer opportunities, and are moving from parish to parish, then chances are those people are going to feel like they never have a ‘home’ or ‘family.’”

Many young adults say they want to be connected to a parish; it’s just a matter of finding the right one.

“I definitely want to be part of a parish, but it’s very frustrating, it’s hard to find a good fit,” Brooks said. “I have a couple of Catholic friends who are trying to find a parish, finding where people recognize that we are strangers. It’s tough when you go to church alone, and no one speaks to you.”

Parish engagement with the community and greeting first-timers are especially appealing for young adults looking for a parish in which to settle down, especially those who are moving into Detroit’s city limits and working to revive its older neighborhoods.

“For me, it’s about the people and community,” Brooks said. “For now, I’m exploring parishes in Detroit; they seem to be very welcoming. St. Charles Lwanga is really great; I go there when I can. It has a small gathering where people spend time together. There is no way to walk out the door without a conversation.”

In many respects, what young adults are looking for in a parish is the same as what they want from the Church at large: connectivity, community and a welcoming atmosphere.

“It has to come from the people, the pastor can’t do it all,” Savickis said. “The life of a parish comes from the parishioners. There has to be an understanding from all the parishioners there. They need to encourage their own family members to participate, which will attract young adults who want to be a part of that greater family.

“Parishes can’t get stuck in their ways, thinking ‘this is how it’s always done,’” Savickis said. “They need to actively invite us into the mix. Young adults need to feel like it’s their parish when they walk in the doors.”